Reap What You Sow

 I am having a really hard time being productive... We are busy, but mostly with entertainment type activities. I have been really terrible with everything from practicing piano to getting up for work on time. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the way I got really lazy. I stopped doing anything that was hard... I have been lackadaisical about everything; cleaning the house, my work, cooking, church and personal Bible study, spending money, bringing my lunch and even my hobbies! I used to blame it on the fact that we were so busy, but the truth is even when I have spare time I don't want to do the 'work' I just want to watch TV or play on the computer! Apparently, I like to read about what everyone else is doing, but I don't want to do anything... (well anything that is not all about the fun). It has affected my weight, mood, marriage, family and probably more that I am not even aware of. This is hard for me, because I have always been a highly motivated, hard working person. During my college years I worked 3 jobs for awhile while being a full time student and my last semester I took 24 credit hours while still maintaining a job at 30 hours per week. Somewhere along the way I lost my drive and purpose.... and I want it back! 

I have an impending CPCU test that has been hovering over me like a black cloud for about a year. It is my FINAL test to complete the designation (and be about 1/2 way to a masters), but I have taken the test 3 times and failed. Its not just the failing that has me lacking motivation, but also the money. Each test is $230, yikes. My co-worker that is younger and smarter than me just finished the program and I am insanely jealous! I have to get this done! Also, they have changed the class and if I don't pass this time I will have to buy new books on top of paying another testing fee! My test is paid for and schedule for March 15 and I haven't even opened the book! 

I can't seem to find time for a garden, finishing projects or practicing piano. Those are all things I think I want to do... 

So how do I get motivated? How do I make myself use the time I do have wisely? How do I make myself bring my lunch rather than go out everyday?? How do I do 'hard' things? I am spoiled rotten and its not pretty. 

My brother keeps up the house now so that is one 'have to' that is marked off the list and I am so thankful for that! We still take care of our room, bathroom and the office so this weekend I made myself do it. I also did the laundry (Kenny usually does all that)... and it felt good! There is something about doing it for yourself (and hubby) that feels so much better than having it done for you all the time. 

I pulled out several sewing projects and since we were home most of the weekend because the boys were sick,  I sewed. I finished this table runner! I started it probably 2 years ago when I made one for my mom for Mothers day! 



Its easy to do for the boys, because they love everything and get excited about everything. I bought a few wooden hearts (29 cents each!) for the boys to paint for Valentine's Day for their Grandmas and we put magnets on the back of them.

 I was shocked to see how much they loved to paint and how good they were at it!! After we finished the hearts they wanted to paint more... I tried to think of what else we had that they could paint since I have loads of paint from back when I did tole painting. 

Then I thought of my unpainted garden fence (another project I never got around to).... My brother removed a few slates for us and we went to town decorating them! The boys loved helping. Here is what we came up with so far. The plan is to make each slate different. Productive, yet fun! 

Speaking of the garden, a month ago,  when my brother moved in he redid our yard (can you believe its been a month!). He leveled it out, cleaned it up and even cleared out the garden!! SO I had the perfect opportunity to plant a garden!  I planted my starter seeds this weekend in several pots. They were seeds intended for Spring 2010 so I have no idea if they will sprout. 

With regards to CPCU and Piano... I don't know what to do to get motivated... Maybe I should set a time each day to practice, and just force myself to follow through. I really enjoy Piano and I am paying $20 per week for my lessons (that is when I don't cancel... which is pretty often) so I need to put the effort in to.  As for CPCU I am planning on reading at work on my lunch hour... maybe that will help me from going out to lunch at least a few days per week and get me where I need to be.