Tonight my mom, Jackie, Merrit and I made the journey out to Mesa for a scrapbooking class... I say journey, because as the months/years go on I am growing tired of driving SO far for craft class. I just love Scrapbooks etc, but 110 miles, 3 hours of driving, $21 in gas, $25 class fee and $8 for dinner is starting to take its tole on me. There just is not a better store closer to us, end of story... so for now- we drive.My mom is amazing. I know she is hurting and lost right now, but she is trying so hard... I am so glad she is allowing herself to have some fun and go out with the girls. We talked to our friend Ericka (31 years old) at SE who lost her mom about a year ago... I think all 3 of us had tears in our eyes talking about what was going to come next- all the firsts without grandma, missing her, going to call her and realizing she is gone etc.
Jackie and Merrit were a little frustrated with my mom and my super speedy crafting skills- we are ALWAYS done first! My mom was patient and kind and helped them along.
I even won a door prize.
It was a good night, but I am having a hard trying to find my way into getting back to doing what I do. I am just sad. Simple conversations make me cry and I can't help it. I hate that. I was excited for the class, but it feels like I am wearing one of those heavy x-ray vests over my body... weird way to describe it but that is what it feels like. Sometimes I have surges of emotion and some days I don't cry at all... Grief is strange and I guess I am lucky to have gone 28 years without really experiencing to much heartache.
I agree we all grieve differently, I think it is really hitting my Grandma hard right now. I really miss my Grandpa and it's hard because sometimes even something random reminds me of him. I know God has a plan, but for those of us left behind it's hard to go on without them. There aren't really words that help in this situation, but I am so sorry and am thinking about you and your mom.
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